Friday 18 April 2014

Gig #4: Tom Thumb Theatre, Margate 12 April 2014


The Tom Thumb Theatre is a remarkable venue. Built in the 17th century by none other than Saint William ‘The Bard’ Shakespeare himself in the spare moments between writing his classic plays Romeo and Juliet and Twelfth Night, the theatre occupies a particularly fond place in the hearts and minds of British theatre-goers the world over. Sir Laurence ‘Larry’ Olivier took his first tentative steps into the acting profession on this tiny stage (as ‘Baby #4’ in the long-forgotten musical Babies on Broadway.) Sir Ralph ‘Ralphy’ Richardson made the role of the Artful Dodger his own on these hallowed boards, and Sir Charles ‘Cheeky’ Chaplin directed his fiirst play – Quentin Falls In – before leaving these shores for America, forever. The Nightingales immediately feel at home in this unique space.

The band have evolved a highly-disciplined routine on arrival at any venue. Sound engineer extraordinary Paul ‘Carpet’ Squires is first into the venue where he will immediately take a photo of the mixing desk, before loading it up to his Tumblr account with some suitable technical critique. In this way, the community of sound engineers build up a collective knowledge of all the venues in the country. I watch as Squires uploads the picture with the comment “Wow dudes!!!! This desk is totally rad, man!!! It’s got brutal patches and no graphics. Awesome!!!! It’s gonna be savage. Touch me, fam!!!” I can’t pretend to understand this technical vocabulary, but clearly Squires is a man who has spent years honing his craft.

As Squires goes about his business, the other members of the band busy themselves carrying equipment into the venue under the watchful eyes of Dave ‘Big Dave’ Wassell and Robert ‘The Chief’ Lloyd. Having satisfied himself that the band is on the case, Lloyd drifts off into the dressing room to confirm that the rider is in place. He immediately pops the bottle of whisky into his personal baggage for safe keeping and checks that the lagers, bananas and Tunnock’s Caramel Wafer Bars are present, as requested.

In the theatre itself, Squires takes the band through the soundcheck with his usual mix of hectoring insults and vicious asides. As the band tearfully troupe offstage to console each other, Squires takes yet more photographs of the mixing desk before joining his bandmates in the dressing room for a welcome beer, before they all troop off to the seafront for the traditional fish-and-chip supper, leaving Lloyd to his pre-gig meditations.

The gig is yet another triumph. The ten-seater venue is packed, and the audience is receptive to the Nightingales’ quirky blend of drunken muttering and fractured musicianship. As the audience file out to join the band in the upstairs bar, Mark ‘Ace’ Jones extracts the maximum amount of cash in exchange for merchandise assisted by the imposing figure of Dave ‘Big Dave’ Wassell who stands behind Jones, arms folded, glowering at each audience member as they file past, emptying their wallets.

After cocktails in the New York-style bar above the venue, the band say their goodbyes to one and all, and climb wearily into Big Dave’s van for the long drive back to Wolverhampton, accompanied by the ever-present voice of Big Dave himself.

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